Human Centipede?

Okay, so bare with me on this post. First off, I haven't been writing very often as of late. Secondly, the whole Human Centipede thing is pretty much old news, but I do have a few thoughts and questions in regards to said film. I've heard many of the reviews pre- and post- viewing the film, and I found that I did not find the film as disturbing as many critics and movie goers did. Sure, I am a bit mentally warped, hence the title of my blog, but honestly I found it rather tame and boring. At one point...well actually many points, I found myself dozing off. So as intriguing a subject as a "Human Centipede" might be, I believe it fell short of creating an uncomfortable movie watching experience for me. Hopefully the second installment of the film is more successful at causing me to cringe. Now for my questions and or suggestions.
There seemed to be a fatal flaw in this human abomination called a centipede. It was entirely too slow. The eerie, quick movements of an actual centipede make for a frightening encounter. This however, was nothing more than stand alone shots of the abomination moving like a sack of dirty potatoes. Might I suggest an extra large skateboard for the next one. This might actually speed up the movements. Also, maybe cut down the legs a bit more so that they would be running on their thigh nubs. The fact that the doctor left the lower half of their legs made for lumbering movements. On a side note, the doctor guy was fucking annoying. Not menacing, creepy, or terrifying...he was fucking annoying. The "shitting" aspect of the abomination is answered some what, but who pees? Will they all pee? I would assume so, but maybe not. To make the scenario more disturbing, I would have fed the abomination some Taco Bell. Now that would have made the "shitting" scene a lot more interesting. The doctor could have spray painted an entire wall after feeding them said Taco Bell. I didn't get the breathing thing...I mean what if the 2nd and 3rd positions had colds? It would have made breathing difficult...I am just saying. Also, a second Human Centipede would have made things interesting. They could have fought or had sex. This brings me to my next suggestion for more of a disgust factor. Why the hell did the doctor not have sex with the Human Centipede? Well I mean at least the 2nd and 3rd positions. They were attractive girls, and they really weren't in a position to say no. Anyhow, maybe its just me and my deranged mind, but this film was not really disturbing nor was it even gory. There was hardly any blood or graphic visuals. Granted it was more or less implied, which I am sure was the idea, but didn't effect me in anyway. I suggest, if this film is still out in the theaters, you catch it with your significant other at one of those "dinner and a movie" places. Those reading this...and by that I mean no one, do not steal my idea along similar lines. It will be called "Human Voltron." Now that's bad-ass.
I apologize for this post being long winded and a bit all over the place, but hey I am a bit rusty. Give it time and maybe it will improve. Who knows?

-Additional Content
Oh and by the way: On the whole sex thing with the abomination, if I were the doctor, I totally would have had sex with the Human Centipede. It was kind of obvious that he probably wasn't getting laid. Also, I mean that is totally a trump card for any other debaucherous exploits. "Hey I just had sex with four other people," "Hey I just had sex with a donkey," "Oh yeah, well I just had sex with a Human Centipede...boooya!" Winner, winner, chicken dinner.