I Love the Suffer

I've been stricken to contemplation. Over the past couple of weeks I've been hearing the song, "Love the way you lie," by Eminem Feat. Rhianna being played on the radio. The tone of the melody struck sharply a chord within me. A painfully tragic love story. I may not have a complete understanding to truly know the sincerity of such pain expressed within the lyrics, but I do know of the suffering endured. I am not absolutely sure that I have ever truly been "in love." Unrequited, and an illusionary manifestation of love created for my own demise. Simply put, a remarkable human experience I am unworthy of and destined to never truly know. It is not my heart I wear on my sleeve, it is the heartbreak. I am drawn to the torment. It is the unrelenting torture that I endure that truly provides me with the sensations of the living. Forever I will pay my penance with a life unfulfilled. Pain will be my only refuge in escape from the comfortably familiar arms of apathy. I want to feel, so I love the suffer.